my flesh is weak.

I know the title of this post seems strange, but it is the truth!

My flesh is weak.  As a human being and only as an ordinary human being, I am incapable, ignorant, self-seeking, and down right weak.  Of course, I've always known this, but my ignorance wins out when I try to rely on my flesh in my daily life.  Until about a week or so ago, I was experiencing one of those bumps in life that make you realize just how weak I truly am without God.  I would describe this bump as one that makes you magnify any disturbance into a huge ordeal, one that centers around you, and one that consistently uses the "woe is me" mentality.  I go through these bumps from time to time and can't stand the person I become.  I tend to obsess about unimportant things and lose track of what really matters.  And, they usually happen when I haven't spent enough time refilling my soul with what God prefers I refill with.

I was rereading a book called What Happens When Women Say Yes to God the other day and one of Lysa's chapters really hit home.  Here's a few things she had to say:

"I also sometimes find myself getting caught up in my own weariness and grumbling over the empty places of my life.  These are all the places that chip away at my contentment, that nag me into thinking I'm being cheated out of something somehow."

 "There are things in my life, little and big, that fall short, don't meet my expectations, and cause grumpy feelings inside my heart..... Usually this happens to me when the busyness of life has crowded out my quiet time with Jesus.  When I have not spent enough time allowing the Lord to refuel and refill me, I forget that this is not my real home."  

Oh my, she's right on point with my most recent bump!  I go, go, go, go, go and all the going takes my heart and mind to things that although may seem dire, shouldn't be priority.

"As my soul looks up from life's muck and rights the focus of its attention, I find myself pressing back into the river, where Jesus' peace rushes over me, refreshing, cleansing, and invigorating."  

And, that my friends, is exactly what I have done.  I've met with God, begged for his patience AGAIN, asked for His grace, and refused to let my flesh win my daily battles.  I know He listened and I know He is ready to set me back on course, but only if I sacrifice a little as well.  One thing that I felt I had to give up in order to regain my internal peace was Facebook.  I was wasting time on there becoming frustrated for whatever reason, and losing out on quality time for other more important things.  I really do LOVE social media and I love how it connects people, but at the same time, it lets so many other "bad" things seep in at the same time.  Judgment, idolizing, jealousy, resentment, idleness, and so many other terrible things are what it allows into my home.  These are not good for me, for my family, or for anyone!

For a week now I have been Facebook free and I'll tell you first hand that it is extremely liberating!  I have spent more time with my family and I mean really spent time with them, not with my phone sitting near by.  I have been able to get things done around the house that I complained about not having time for.  I have spent time in reflection and in devotion.  Not only did it free up time, but it set me free from knowing everything about everyone!  Maybe that sounds horrible, but goodness it feels great!

So, today I'm celebrating the STRENGTH that comes when I prioritize my life correctly.  I'm celebrating the STRENGTH that comes when I get my daily does of Jesus, give and recieve love from my family, and find satisfaction with where I am in life and God's purpose for me in it.

On a side note, one thing that I am completely satisfied with is my sweet Grayson!  He's a mess most days, whines like no other, likes to pick on his sister, but check out this hunk in his preschool picture and his name written all by himself!