Crossroads

For as long as I can remember, I have always longed for the future.  Not one of my best qualities, I will admit.  It was always, do this so this can happen or I can't wait until [insert next big life experience].  I am a planner at heart and like to know what is coming up next, but as I am growing older (quickly approaching the big 3-0) I am finding myself at a crossroads.  One road is telling me to continue self-directing my life by aiming for the goals I've set for myself and the other road is telling me to slow down and let God show me what He has in store.  This summer, more than anything,  God is really showing me how my plans and desires may not be what He has in store for my future. 

One of the most evident things that I feel God is trying to show me is that I need to enjoy each day to its fullest.  After all, what we decide to do each day is pretty important considering we are using an entire day of our limited life on earth to do whatever it is we decide to do.   I feel a growing desire in my heart to be there for those that are hurting and just simply be there despite what my schedule might say.  I always compare myself to others and see these people who appear so selfless and in tune with God and become discouraged.  At the same time, I also see people who appear to have it all together (in terms of worldly things), and I get frustrated again.  How is it possible for me to want to please God by being obedient and have desires for the things the world offers me all at the same time?  This has always been a hard thing for me to balance. Thankfully, God has really shown me lately how worrying about who I'm not and what I can't do, is keeping me preoccupied and not allowing Him to show me what He wants me to do.