Unexpected Date Night

Friday night was an unexpected date night for Kermie and me.  My mom and dad took Grayson for the night for some one on one time and Ella made her second attempt at staying over at her cousin Ava's house.  Kermie and I were both "on call" as we weren't sure if either kid would make it all night, but luckily they both did! 

Grayson spent the evening out at a farm of one of my dad's friends.  He was pretty much in heaven getting to see and sit on all the tractors.  Grayson adores his Pa, so getting to spend the evening doing "manly" things like Pa was right up his alley. 

 

Ella had a blast playing with Ava and having a slumber party.  She wasn't quite ready to come home the next day so I think it's safe to say she's no longer afraid of staying the night!  She sure loves her Ava time!

 

As for Kermie and me, we spent the night watching a movie (that we do not recommend-Looper) and enjoying some unexpected piece and quiet.  It is always strange to wake up in the morning to silence and without a kid in our bed.  Ella will typically come to our room at some point each night and I always love cuddling with her when she does.  Kermie got all the cuddling this time... although he's not the biggest fan.  We even got to go out for an early lunch at Cracker Barrel before picking up the kids.  It's the small things :)  



Country at Heart

Any time I can take the back roads some where I do.  Usually, I'm a speeding bullet rushing to get somewhere and don't have time for back roads, but when I  do have time to spare I LOVE the scenic route. 

Tonight, on my way home from my aunt and uncle's house, I took the back roads.  My drive was so peaceful (even more peaceful because it was just me).  I love everything about the country:  endless trees, cows and horses grazing in the pastures, family sitting out on their front porch, winding creeks, small white churches, antiqued and weathered barns, big and beautiful worn houses, tractors, rusted fences, you name it... I love it.

If there is one thing I hope to achieve in the near future, it's to build a house out in the country.  I have wanted this for what seems like a very long time, but even more on nights like tonight.  It's absolutely gorgeous outside!!  Don't get me wrong.  I am enjoying my current piece of heaven: porch swing, trains, sounds of distant lawn mowers, and no traffic, but to have a backyard that the kids can explore and learn from is what I really want.  To be able to camp out, plant a garden, take pictures on my own property, have my grandkids over for Easter egg hunts, take walks on trails, let the dog run free, and even go fishing at the creek without having to get in the car is what I really want.  I honestly could care less what my house looks like other than that we have more than one bathroom and that the kids can have their own bedrooms (and maybe a bit of character... I'd take my house now if it were a bit bigger), but I want to be able to enjoy the outdoors in its full capacity. 

But for now, I'll be happy with our little abode here on Main Street. 

Woe is Me

First of all, let me start by saying I typically don't complain or at least not publicly, but I'm letting this blog be my diary and hoping my audience can relate in some way.  Good, bad, happy, or sad.... isn't it nice to know there is someone in the world that is right there with you?

With that being said, the title of this post is very fitting for my mood tonight.  It's really strange how I woke up so energetic and motivated, but now I feel stressed and blah.  We got to sleep in this morning, I made some money selling some of Ella's clothes, got some new books for my classroom, spent several hours working at school (I LOVE IT), went to the Dollar Tree with my kiddos (one of our favs), and even got to spend some time with one of my former students tonight.  However, while sitting in line at CVS waiting for my prescription, this yuck came over me all of a sudden. 

It seems like whenever I have these quiet moments alone my mind races and unfortunately it always drifts off to the world of pessimism.  As I sat there I thought about how much I hate students loans, how much I wish I didn't have to go home and do the mounds of laundry that I've let pile up, how much I wish this and that would happen, how I hate the dark spots on my face from the sun, how I hate feeling "lonely," and most of all how much I hate being the biggest I've ever been other than when I was pregnant (but even then I was only like 6 pounds heavier).  Aren't all of these thoughts terrible!?!? 

Here I am, a healthy twenty-nine year old, with two terrific kids, a great husband, a beautiful home, a job I absolutely love, a car that works, food in my refrigerator, the best family any one could ask for, two college degrees, a friend that invited me to go to the beach in a few short days, and most importantly a God that forgives me for all these selfish thoughts.  I am thankful for the new beginnings and fresh starts God gives me after only one little prayer.  I am thankful for all of the blessings He has given me and how He continues to show His mercy everyday.  I honestly cannot imagine what life would look like and feel like without faith in a God that takes all of my worries upon Himself. 

Happy Hump Day! :)

There's a first for everthing and strange addictions

Tonight's post is pretty random, but I thought I'd share any way.  My family found it quite amusing, so maybe you will too. :) 

Although I scored a tremendous 95% on my driver's test many moons ago, many people I know would claim my driving abilities aren't the best.  I guess I've not had the best track record when it comes to accidents (please let me note that more than half were caused by deer that didn't know which way to run...lol).  My first accident happened not too long after I got my license in the traffic leaving school.  It doesn't get much more humiliating than crashing into the back of your friend's car in front of your entire school.  I guess it does make for good memories though?!?  I've had a few (I can fit them on one hand) small bumps here and there.  And, like I mentioned before, my Passat was a deer magnet.  On the other hand, one thing that I have always been able to brag on is the fact that I've never been pulled over.  My husband, who has never had an accident, has been pulled over numerous times!!  I typically throw that back at him when he starts on my "bad" driving.  I really can't even use this as leverage though because there have been many mornings when I've zoomed right past my dad on I-75 trying to get to work on time.  Since having kids, I have gotten better, but I will admit more work needs to be done. 

For the past several weeks/months, there has been construction on I-75 which is my main road of transportation.  This construction starts pretty much from my exit and goes all the way to Georgetown, which means 55 mph is all I'm allowed.  Typically, I do pretty well at abiding by those limitations, but on days like today when I have to be at work for the first time all summer, speed limits and I don't get along.  Needless to say, I had a really hard time getting up this morning, getting the kids dressed, myself dressed, breakfast, and dropping the kids off.  Even if I had a week to practice I probably still wouldn't have done very well, but this morning was just not good.  I was supposed to be in town by 8:30 and didn't get to my mom's house until after 8.  Did I mention that she lives about 7 minutes further north than I do which puts me about 25 minutes from town?  I was cutting it close.  So, as I hopped on the interstate and paid no attention to the construction or speed limit (I was only going 65!), I noticed Mr. State Trooper turn on his lights and proceed to pull me over.... IN ALL THAT CONSTRUCTION.  I'm totally shocked that I didn't freak out, but I was actually very calm and cool :)  So, said cop comes to my window and asks for all my info and then lectures me on how there are men working and those speed limits are there for a reason.  He told me to slow down and let me off with a warning.  THANK YOU JESUS!  I guess there's a first for everything?

On a side note, ever since I can remember, I have loved yard sales.  My mom used to have them all the time and we used to go to them all the time.  For some reason, I love looking through other people's things and seeing if I can find a use for it.  There's not much better than finding something you love that would have cost you mucho $$$ for way less.  I also love finding my random stuff that doesn't get use and selling it.  So, this summer, I have been strangely addicted to online yard sale sites.  We've went to a couple actual yard sales, but my heart belongs to those on Facebook.  I get on there multiple times a day to see what new things have been posted.  I've sold more than I've actually bought, but the things we have found are a 1960's Vintage Barbie still in the box (which Buddy chewed up), a cool truck for Grayson, and quite a few books for my classroom.  Living in a house with very little storage space and just not being one to hold on to stuff any way, I'm always looking to get rid of things that are taking up space.  I've sold strollers, toys, clothes, and appliances so far.  I keep asking Kermie if he's got anything in his workshop that needs to be sold, but he keeps blowing me off.  I think he may be slightly annoyed by my obsession, but I'm sure he likes the extra cash.... no wait... I think I already spent it??

Milestone

Yesterday was a big day for Ella as she accomplished something she has been working very hard to do.  Many of you already know that Ella suffered a great deal this past school year with anxiety.  Ever since she was little girl I had a feeling she would be the "anxious"s type.  She has always been a deep thinker, worried about things outside of her control, and picked constantly (her nails, her lips, etc.).  As a mom who has dealt with anxiety and panic attacks since fourth grade, I prayed that the things I was noticing were just mere coincidences, but after this past school year I know this is not the case.

Ella started the school year off fantastic, but it was short lived.  One day while leaving the cafeteria and going out to the track, Ella witnessed a little boy throw up and has not been the same since.  At that point in time, Ella totally shut down.  The once chipper, excited to go to school, I love school, little girl, now dreaded getting up in the morning.  She would cry and beg me not to make her go.  She stopped eating and was a constant emotional mess.  This of course about did me in as well.  I loved being at school with Ella, but it was SO hard to take her to her classroom and leave with her crying.  Eventually, we decided that extended day kindergarten was going to be too much for her.  She associated the afternoon part of her day with her anxiety (Emetophobia - the fear of throwing up) since the incident occurred after morning kindergarten when leaving the cafeteria.  Looking back, I think this was a good move.  I know that avoidance behaviors are not good in this type of situation, but barely being five years old, in a new school, and experiencing a very long day helped me to justify this move.  Thank goodness we did it, because in about two weeks time, she was learning to cope and see that school was great again. 

Throughout the school year, however, I did receive several phone calls from Ella's teacher saying that someone had thrown up and Ella was panicking.  Thankful to work in a building where people will cover for you in any situation, I would walk down to her class and try to calm her.  This fear though did not happen strictly at school.  Ella began panicking any time someone would cough or get choked because she thought they were going to throw up.  One of the worst times was when we were at Cracker Barrel and her cousin started coughing.  Ella started screaming and crying and quickly jumped underneath the table. Another example of Ella's fear is when we were on our way home from Florida and her brother threw up in the car.  Ella honestly did pretty well considering we were still three hours from home and Grayson had been sitting right beside her, but now she is terrified to go to the beach in July because she associates the car ride with throwing up.  It was after these two episodes that I realized my talking and coaching wasn't going to work.

I had several conversations with Ella about how some people go to a doctor that they just get to talk to.  I told her about my experiences with a therapist and how they taught me ways to manage my anxiety and to calm myself down when I get panicked.  Ella was very open to the idea and constantly asked, "Will my doctor make me not afraid of puke?"  I've tried to be honest with her and tell her that sometimes these fears never really leave, but that we just have to learn how to deal with them.  All the while, she and I are both praying that God heals her mind and rids her of anxiety.

So, at the start of summer, Ella had her first appoint with Mrs. Connie at Beaumont Behavior Health.  Ella absolutely adores Connie and their time together.  Mrs. Connie quickly diagnosed Ella with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) during our first visit.  Each time Ella goes, they do a story together from a program called The Worry Wars.  This program walks children through a situation where a child is faced with a fear and resulting anxiety.  It also shows the kids how each character was able to fight the anxiety and win the war.  The second half of Ella's therapy is done in the Play Therapy Room.  This may be Ella's favorite part!  She gets to play and apply what she learned in the story in her play. 

You're probably wondering how all this relates to her big day yesterday.  Well, Ella had spent the day with her Nana doing whatever her heart desired.  They had a sleepover, went to the movies, and even went to a cookout!  Unfortunately, I got a phone call yesterday evening from my mom saying that Kayne (my nephew) had thrown up and Ella was panicking.  By the time I got her on the phone, she was pretty hysterical.  However, we talked through some of the strategies she had been learning in therapy and between that and my mom (who has also suffered with anxiety---this disorder has a long history in this family! BOO), Ella was able to stay at the cookout instead of coming home.  She jumped on the trampoline and had so much fun!!  She even wanted to stay another night at my mom and dad's which is huge.  I could tell how proud she was of herself, but I know that I am probably a million times more proud! 

Happy Summer Solstice

Tonight's post has a pretty simple message.... Summer is great!

Today has been an incredible first day of summer!  And, here are the reasons why it was so great:

1. We all woke up around 8:30, which when compared to 5:00 is awesome!  
2. We took our time getting ready... Ready for the pool that is :) 
3. For about 5 1/2 hours we all lounged by my in-laws pool.  The kids swam or played.
4. Ella got to spend the day with Ava doing whatever it is that they do :). Rearranging their Papa's shed was on today's agenda.
5. Grayson was in heaven getting to ride the lawn mower and doing other manly things.  In fact, I got told to leave several times throughout the day.
6. My sister-in-law and I sat out in the sun talking and sun bathing without a care in the world.... Thanks to my father-in-law who is probably exhausted from all the man play :). 
7. My parents decided to come pick up Ella for the night for some one on one time.
8. Grayson and I got in bed before dark, rented Wreck It Ralph, and ate chocolate chips and pretzels in bed. 
9. He fell asleep a long time ago.
10. Now, I am sitting here enjoying peace and quiet!  My hubby should be home soon :). 

Aahhh, summer is great :). 

Our Buddy

For as long as I can remember, I've always had a dog.  Well, actually that is only partially true because once I moved out, I never got a dog of my own.  I still consider my parents' dogs my dogs though, so they count right? 

When Kermie and I first got married, we didn't have any pets mainly because we were not home often and lived in a teeny tiny apartment on a roof top.  I remember coming home one night, opening the door, and finding Kermie standing there with a kitten in his hands.  He was working at a veterinarian clinic at the time and a lady had brought the kitten in saying she couldn't keep her anymore.  In an attempt to save the kitten, she became ours.  I remember being excited because she was so cute, but a little nervous because cats were foreign to me being that I had never had one and because I'm highly allergic to them.  I still remember that first night like it was yesterday!  ChaCha (which became her name), pounced on my feet any time I moved and never left our bed.  She was perfect and I imagined myself getting pretty good at this cat owner thing.

Fast forward ten years.  ChaCha is still part of our family and we enjoy her company as always.  I think I've become immune to her dander for the most part, but still can't love on her like I want to.  Any time she scratches me, my skin puffs up and I itch for days.  Any time I pet her and forget to wash my hands, my eyes swell and I sneeze for hours.  Boo on allergies and not being able to give her the affection my husband is able to give her. :(

For several months, my daughter has been asking for a dog.  We immediately say no and explain to her that we aren't set up for a dog.  We live right downtown, have a fence that a dog can escape through, live in a fairly small house, and are never home to let the dog out.  On top of that, we have a cat that isn't the most social creature on the planet and is used to being the center of attention.  Allowing a dog in the house would rock her world!

About three weeks ago, we were down at our playground here in Sadieville and a stray dog started following us around.  When it was time to go, he followed my van back to the house.  He would leave for a while, but then always came back.  With it being hot, we sat some water out on the porch.  The next day, he was still there.  That night, he was still there.  We went back down to the playground and this time he jumped right in the van to come home with us.  Since it didn't look like he was leaving any time soon, I sat cat food out on the porch for him in case he was beginning to starve.  Needless to say, he loved the cat food and all of the attention he was getting.  He seemed to roam during the night, but was always right there with us during the daylight hours.  One morning we woke up to tons of shoes laying in our yard.  Apparently, he had went around town grabbing shoes from other houses and brought them all back home with him.  Several more days went by and he was still there.  I had talked to the local cop and post office about the dog.  They said they had seen him around and noticed how friendly he was, but had no idea where he had come from.  The strange thing is that he looked very well taken care of and had a brand new collar around his neck.  After him being with us for several days now, we were all falling in love with this beautiful dog.  Since we didn't know his name and had been saying, "Here buddy," to get his attention, Buddy became his name. 

My husband and I talked about what our options were in regards to keeping the dog or getting rid of him somehow.  I called the Humane Society and the animal shelter and no missing dog reports had been given.  The Humane Society also said that since he wasn't neutered, he would not have a microchip for us to scan.  Finding his owners was beginning to seem farfetched.  I started getting a little anxious about the idea of keeping him because we honestly just aren't equipped for a dog.  However, he wasn't leaving and I didn't want him to leave.  One day several kids came up to the house and asked if he was our dog.  My kiddos immediately responded, "Yes!"  It's hard to describe the feeling I felt when I heard them say that.  It was a since of pride and joy and I almost wanted to tell those kids to scram because they seemed like competition.  lol :) 

That very same day, we let Buddy into our house.  We bathed him and watched his and ChaCha's interactions with one another.  She did way better than we thought she would.  And, actually, a week later, she can sit within feet of him!  I think he's teaching her a few social skills.  As for us, we still aren't "ready" to have a dog, but this dog chose us so we are making due.  I've come home to quite a few messes including canola oil all over my living room rug, toilet paper strung throughout the house, trashcans knocked over and empty, multiple armless and legless Barbies, wooden blocks destroyed, shoe strings demolished, baking soda spilled all over the place, his bed torn apart, and even a sentimental scrapbook torn into shreds (this list doesn't stop here).  These kinds of things drive me crazy, but as I'm sitting here watching him sleep I can't help but feel proud that he's our Buddy. 

An interview: Ella Chase Donovan

For today's post, I thought I'd interview one of my kiddos.  It is always so funny hearing their thoughts and opinions on things.  So, here goes!  Enjoy :)

1.  What is your full name?  Ella Chase Donovan

2.  Do you like your name?  Yes, because it sounds pretty.

3.  How old are you?  5

4.  Do you like being 5 years old?  Yeah, it is really fun.

5.  When is your next birthday?  September the fourteenth. 

6.  What kind of birthday party are you wanting?  I just want to go to Bounce U.

7.  Did you like kindergarten?  Of course I did!  I loved it.

8.  Are you looking forward to first grade?  No, because I just don't want to eat lunch in the cafeteria.  (hahaha-from me!)

9.  What is your favorite thing to do at home?  Love on mommy.  (Although I typically have to beg for this!!)

10.  What is your favorite hobby?  Art, because I'm a good artist.

11.  Do you want to be an artist when you grow up or something else?  Something else.  I want to be a teacher because it's cool.  (Feels good knowing my kid thinks I'm cool!)

12.  If you were stranded on an island with one thing and one person, what and who would they be?  I would want Grayson.  I would want a basketball.  (Coming from a girl who sometimes wishes Grayson didn't exist and doesn't play basketball??)

13.  Do you like your brother?  He hits me though.  Yes, I like him.  (Yet, she wants him on an island with her.)

14.  If you could have one pet, any kind of pet, what would it be?  A snake because I like to hold snakes.  (She gets this from her daddy... definitely not me!)

15.  Do you have a best friend?  Yeah, Seaton is my best school friend.  Ava is my best cousin friend.

16.  Do you like to play sports?  Yeah, I like to play soccer.  That's the only sport I play.  (I guess she falls into the category of people who believe gymnastics isn't a sporty :( lol )

17.  What is your favorite tv show?  Rugrats, because it's fun.

18.  What is your favorite food?  Spaghetti, I like the noodles.

19.  Do you have a favorite color?  Yes, blue.  No wait, not blue.  It is hot pink.

20.  Who is your hero?  My mommy because she is friendly. 

And, there you have it folks :)  Good night!

'Till death do us part

This August marks my ten year anniversary.  However, if you count all the years we dated before that, we could probably consider it our 14 year anniversary.  I'm totally just realizing that  14 years is almost half of my life!  He must be a special man, that husband of mine! 

No, really, he is special and although most of you know my story, I'll share it again just in case.  K (I will refer to my husband as "K" on this blog) and I met when I was in middle school (middle school will be a whole other topic in itself!) and created a great friendship.  If you ask him he'll tell you that he was never really in it for the friendship, but was always looking to take it to the next level.  I, on the other hand, wasn't so sure.  For some reason I always got wrapped up in the wrong type of boy and K was totally opposite of all the rest.  He was polite, came from a great family, a Christian, and respectful on many levels.  For a couple of years, the whole friend thing worked just fine for me.  It wasn't until I noticed a little competition that I realized that I did have feelings for him and that he was a keeper.  Long story short, we continued dating throughout his time in high school and then my last two years in high school.  Our relationship wasn't always easy as he left for the Marines the day he graduated from high school.  I'm certain that only by the grace of God we were able to make it through those first few years. 

On Christmas Day of my freshman year of college, K asked me to marry him.  There was obviously no hesitation on my part and I would be married before the age of 20.  So many people ask me why I got married so young and my answer is always that we just knew we would get married so why wait.  At that age, I think I glorified the idea of marriage.  I'm pretty sure most girls do.  We imagine this fairytale life where romance is abundant and we get to play Susie Homemaker 24/7.  I'll be the first to tell you that marriage is no such thing.  With me still being in college, my husband had to work non-stop to support us.  He was not only still in the military, but working 2nd and 3rd shift as well.  When I was awake, he was asleep and when he was awake, I was asleep.  So, you can imagine the lack of communication during those years.  Again, it's by the grace of God that we made it through.  I love reminiscing about this time because even though we hardly saw each other and were broke, we made it work. 

Once I finished school and K was able to get a job with decent hours, it seemed like our marriage was getting to what I had imagined it would be.  On the other hand, with more time together we seemed to argue more.  We are both very strong-willed and stubborn.  On top of that, I have quite the temper.  I'm sure most of you can relate to the tension that builds when living with someone of the opposite sex.  It can sometimes be worse than picking up after children!  After about four years of enjoying marriage just the two of us, we embarked on the journey to parenthood.  One of the most important things I saw in K was his potential to be an excellent father.  I knew almost immediately that he would be an awesome dad and he proved me right as soon as we had our first.  He was so determined to be involved and that is one thing I can always say about him... he is a very involved daddy!  My kids adore him and I adore the fact that they love him so much. 

Of course there are times when I wish he would help with those daily monotonous tasks without being asked to do so.  In fact, if there is one thing that we fight about most it may be me wanting him to take initiative without me having to tell him.  There are some days that I feel like I'm drowning.  I wake up around 5 every morning to get ready for school, usually get the kids ready to get out the door, drop kid off at sitter, work with children the next seven hours without sitting down, pick up kids, come home and pick up the house, (I wish I could say fix dinner, but as you already know... I don't do that.), do homework, play, get kids in the bath, pack bags for the next day, pick up the house again, get in bed, and sleep.  For several years, I felt like I was running around like crazy!  K probably felt the exact same as he had to work full-time and take large class loads to get his degree finished. When we were pregnant with our second kid, we had made a pack to be a team and share more of the responsibilities.  Now that he has finished his degree, he has done a great job picking up the load.  I sure can't imagine being a single mom.  Without K, I might go insane.  I'm sure he'd tell you I already have! I just wish there was some way to walk in the other's shoes for a day because I'm sure life isn't easy for him either.  He may not have all the same responsibilities as I do, but I'm sure the burden of providing and protecting our family is a daunting task for a man.  I know I haven't always seen the other side of the battle and I'm really working to try and be less focused on what I need. 

Since the addition of our two kiddos, it has been a struggle to put each other first at times.  My kids are my world as are they his.  We both tend to put their needs before our own and we have had to work on making more time for each other.  There was a time not too long ago that we hardly communicated because we were so consumed with other things.  I'll tell you first hand that not making time for each other is not a good idea.  It doesn't take long for the romance to die when it isn't made a priority.  I think that is what happens to a lot of marriages in today's age.  People are too busy with rushing their kids here and there or working or whatever else they put before their spouse that the romance dies.  Many people give up at that point claiming that they have fallen out of love, but I will tell you that the romance can be found.  Marriage takes work.  I've often heard marriage described as a verb instead of a noun.  It isn't something you get, but something you do.  It's something you have to work at everyday.  Just like anything else you do, practice makes perfect.  You have to make a conscious effort to put the other person first and remember the love you had for them at the very beginning. 

I found a marriage prayer on Pinterest today that I would like to share with you.  If you're anything like me, you need help daily to remember to be selfless and choose your words wisely.  After all, we're in this relationship 'till death do us part.

 

Thanks for reading!  Happy Tuesday :) 



It doesn't have to be itsy bitsy

I ran into this video this morning.  She makes some interesting points, but I'm curious what you all think?
 

Created Different

As soon as I woke up this morning, I wanted to blog.  I considered blogging about how my two year old wakes me up every morning screaming to get him chocolate milk (the terrible twos are in full force...unfortunately, I think we may also see the terrible threes).   A couple hours later, I wanted to write about how great my kids can play together at times.  Regrettably, this brother/sister bliss didn't last too long. 

It wasn't until tonight during my women's study that I was certain what this post would be about.... being created different.  For the past three weeks, I have been participating in a women's bible study with some girls from my church.  We've titled our group, "Coolest Women's Small Group Ever" and I'm certain we will live up to the name. :)  We are working through the book What Happens When Women Say Yes to God.  I have really enjoyed the book so far (keep in mind, we've only read the first chapter).  Part of our study is watching a DVD of the author of the book, Lysa Terkeurst.  This lady has an awesome story and makes many great points.  One of the things she said tonight really struck home with me though.  I may totally botch her words, but sadly my pen wasn't able to keep up with her greatness. 

 "We weren't created to be normal.  We were made different in order to make a difference." 

Throughout life, or at least in my life, I have tried to be normal.  When I notice things about myself that aren't "normal," I will typically try to fix them.  For instance, many people were taught that wives are these awesome cooks that fix home cooked meals seven nights a week.  Well, I hate cooking!  I know hate is a strong word, but I honestly have NO desire to do it at all.  Does that make me not normal?  Does it make me a bad wife? A bad mom?  I always thought so and therefore, tried to make myself like cooking.  Epic fail.... I will never be a good cook. Thank goodness my husband can cook and happens to be great at it! 

Now, I know this scenario isn't totally related to the later part of Lysa's quote so let me use another example.  Since about... my entire life, I have been a quiet person.  Yes, I was a cheerleader and yes, I had a social life, but I have always been timid to speak up about things.  It wasn't until college that I really started to notice how different I was from those around me.  My friends had no trouble meeting new people and talking to complete strangers.  They had no trouble offering up opinions and advice in large group settings.  They had no trouble telling others about their life issues.  Me on the other hand, I internalize everything.  I've been called "stuck up" and "boring" by various people throughout the years.  Little do these people know that I didn't want to be the way I was.  I felt like an odd ball, but no matter how hard I tried to be "normal" or prayed to be able to be more "outgoing," I always stayed my quiet self.  After hearing Lysa's quote tonight, I was reminded of how God created me.  Not only did He create me, but He created me different for a specific reason.  I may struggle to understand what this reason is on most days, but I have faith that He did indeed create me different in order to make a difference. 

So, the next time you or someone you know feels the need to fit into the whole "normal" gig, remind yourself that you were created different on purpose.  The God of this universe wants to use you just the way you are. 

Until tomorrow.... goodnight  :) 

Something old, but also new.

I really miss blogging.  For many years, I kept up with our family blog that more or less served as an online baby book for my daughter who is now 5 1/2 years old.  You can check it out here.   I attempted to keep up with it when the second child came, but for whatever reason was not able to do that.  I even had a blog that I created for my classroom when I taught 4th grade math, but with a school switch, grade switch, and content switch, I wasn't too sure about adding a blog into the mix.  Needless, to say, I am ready to blog again.

Over the years, I have thought about starting a "different" type of blog.  I love writing about my kids and family as I did in my other blog, but I also love writing about education, religion, friendships, marriage, and just life in general.  With my previous blog, I didn't feel like I could really steer that direction so I never did.  However, with this new start to my old practice, I'm hoping to create a sounding board for all that life brings on a daily basis.  I consider myself a fairly quiet person who doesn't share openly to many people... at least not in person and not right away.  On the other hand, I love to write and feel so comfortable opening up through writing.  Call me a chicken if you will, but I blame it on poor communication skills along side of a bit of social anxiety (self diagnosis). 

My goal through this blog is to be as transparent as I can be while revealing life's struggles and successes.  I plan to share trials and tribulations, beliefs and desires, stresses and moments of tranquility, and whatever else comes to mind.  I personally love reading and being able to relate to other women dealing with similar issues, so I hope that readers of this blog will be able to do the same while at the same time take away a bit of clarity and perspective to where life takes them next. 

So, cheers to blogging again!  Enjoy :)