No, really, he is special and although most of you know my story, I'll share it again just in case. K (I will refer to my husband as "K" on this blog) and I met when I was in middle school (middle school will be a whole other topic in itself!) and created a great friendship. If you ask him he'll tell you that he was never really in it for the friendship, but was always looking to take it to the next level. I, on the other hand, wasn't so sure. For some reason I always got wrapped up in the wrong type of boy and K was totally opposite of all the rest. He was polite, came from a great family, a Christian, and respectful on many levels. For a couple of years, the whole friend thing worked just fine for me. It wasn't until I noticed a little competition that I realized that I did have feelings for him and that he was a keeper. Long story short, we continued dating throughout his time in high school and then my last two years in high school. Our relationship wasn't always easy as he left for the Marines the day he graduated from high school. I'm certain that only by the grace of God we were able to make it through those first few years.
On Christmas Day of my freshman year of college, K asked me to marry him. There was obviously no hesitation on my part and I would be married before the age of 20. So many people ask me why I got married so young and my answer is always that we just knew we would get married so why wait. At that age, I think I glorified the idea of marriage. I'm pretty sure most girls do. We imagine this fairytale life where romance is abundant and we get to play Susie Homemaker 24/7. I'll be the first to tell you that marriage is no such thing. With me still being in college, my husband had to work non-stop to support us. He was not only still in the military, but working 2nd and 3rd shift as well. When I was awake, he was asleep and when he was awake, I was asleep. So, you can imagine the lack of communication during those years. Again, it's by the grace of God that we made it through. I love reminiscing about this time because even though we hardly saw each other and were broke, we made it work.
Once I finished school and K was able to get a job with decent hours, it seemed like our marriage was getting to what I had imagined it would be. On the other hand, with more time together we seemed to argue more. We are both very strong-willed and stubborn. On top of that, I have quite the temper. I'm sure most of you can relate to the tension that builds when living with someone of the opposite sex. It can sometimes be worse than picking up after children! After about four years of enjoying marriage just the two of us, we embarked on the journey to parenthood. One of the most important things I saw in K was his potential to be an excellent father. I knew almost immediately that he would be an awesome dad and he proved me right as soon as we had our first. He was so determined to be involved and that is one thing I can always say about him... he is a very involved daddy! My kids adore him and I adore the fact that they love him so much.
Of course there are times when I wish he would help with those daily monotonous tasks without being asked to do so. In fact, if there is one thing that we fight about most it may be me wanting him to take initiative without me having to tell him. There are some days that I feel like I'm drowning. I wake up around 5 every morning to get ready for school, usually get the kids ready to get out the door, drop kid off at sitter, work with children the next seven hours without sitting down, pick up kids, come home and pick up the house, (I wish I could say fix dinner, but as you already know... I don't do that.), do homework, play, get kids in the bath, pack bags for the next day, pick up the house again, get in bed, and sleep. For several years, I felt like I was running around like crazy! K probably felt the exact same as he had to work full-time and take large class loads to get his degree finished. When we were pregnant with our second kid, we had made a pack to be a team and share more of the responsibilities. Now that he has finished his degree, he has done a great job picking up the load. I sure can't imagine being a single mom. Without K, I might go insane. I'm sure he'd tell you I already have! I just wish there was some way to walk in the other's shoes for a day because I'm sure life isn't easy for him either. He may not have all the same responsibilities as I do, but I'm sure the burden of providing and protecting our family is a daunting task for a man. I know I haven't always seen the other side of the battle and I'm really working to try and be less focused on what I need.
Since the addition of our two kiddos, it has been a struggle to put each other first at times. My kids are my world as are they his. We both tend to put their needs before our own and we have had to work on making more time for each other. There was a time not too long ago that we hardly communicated because we were so consumed with other things. I'll tell you first hand that not making time for each other is not a good idea. It doesn't take long for the romance to die when it isn't made a priority. I think that is what happens to a lot of marriages in today's age. People are too busy with rushing their kids here and there or working or whatever else they put before their spouse that the romance dies. Many people give up at that point claiming that they have fallen out of love, but I will tell you that the romance can be found. Marriage takes work. I've often heard marriage described as a verb instead of a noun. It isn't something you get, but something you do. It's something you have to work at everyday. Just like anything else you do, practice makes perfect. You have to make a conscious effort to put the other person first and remember the love you had for them at the very beginning.
I found a marriage prayer on Pinterest today that I would like to share with you. If you're anything like me, you need help daily to remember to be selfless and choose your words wisely. After all, we're in this relationship 'till death do us part.
Thanks for reading! Happy Tuesday :)
Loved reading this today on my 8th wedding anniversary.
ReplyDeleteHappy Anniversary, Lauren!
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